Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
