could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
