I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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