whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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