batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
