god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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