just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
