so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
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