wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
