when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
