I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
