my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
