i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
is it fun? or sober?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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