so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My day in three words: secret purse cake
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
