dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
They took my balls.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
