so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
