I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
