it wasn't lemon gatorade
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
