nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
