Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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