Don't you send me to vm
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
