The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
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