I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
