I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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