I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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