the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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