i permit you to call me
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
