I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
