He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Randomize
