I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
