i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize