I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
