i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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