I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
