capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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