90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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