SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
