trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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