i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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