My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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