do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
