I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
