dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
