hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
