hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
