How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize