My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
