ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
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