oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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