The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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