Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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