Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
