It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
