You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
