The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
