She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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