Do you still have your period?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
