She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
