we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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