4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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