in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
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