They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
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Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
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Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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