If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't turn off my feet"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
