I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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